The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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