Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
When did angry sex become our thing?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
