Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
