you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize