Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
