My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
