The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
