he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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