If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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