Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize