Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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