I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
