would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
