Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
