I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
