she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
