Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
