you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
