The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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