i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
