I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
