So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
