why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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