but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
