Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
