I'm going to jail i love you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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