i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize