So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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