i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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