yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
