So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
