my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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