john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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