So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
