If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
