Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
