Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
