do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
