I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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