Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
