she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
