You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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