Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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