hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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