Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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