He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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