I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
