mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
