Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
