I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just pee around me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
