i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So vagazzling was a success
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