is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
