Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize