Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
