it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
did you just send me my own nude
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
