oh god the rape fog is back!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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