I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
