did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
