Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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