Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
