i just wanna soil my oats bro
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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