ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
