Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
