So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
